Moustache-man

One month. One mustache.
Reactions have been split ... split between men and women. Men in general (95+ %) approve of it, cheer it, envy it and some have gone so far as to even respect it.
Women in generel (75+ %) hate it, despite it or get at the best ignore it.


What does this tell a mustasched man?

1. Men either lie in my face to cut competition or they can recognize and identify themselves in the growing of a mustasch. They have too been lost boys in their early teens seeing who got hair where first in the eyes of fellow class mates in gym class?
2. It isn't really attracting and women would prefer men without?
3. Nothing, I might just be spending way too much time and energy on some facial hair

The psychologist on the other hand would say that facial hair is representing sexual activity and whatnot.

Dream Symbol Dictionary Definition for: BEARD

BEARD

Male sexual power and virility. It is also often used to represent great wisdom, authority or even saintliness, as when the person has a white beard. If the beard is very long, it can symbolise great age, eternal life, wisdom of the ages. The beard can also depict the desire to hide, in other words a low self esteem, or feelings of youth hiding behind the beard

-Notice the white :)

Right back at ya

To my friend, my dearest A.
Right back at ya, my dearest E.

My words, they might be the trigger for the gun that tells you to go, the rain that your flower needs so desperately, the key to free your bird from its cage.
Your words are fired from close range
Like bullets through my brain
But this wound won't make a stain
It will heal and like a broken bone
I hope it will grow even stronger

Start questioning, start searching, not for something, but for anything.
Questions are asked
-Answers will come
The search is on, I have been looking for someone
So much so that I might have stopped searching myself

Start to move, start to run, not from, but to.
Heart is beating,
My feets are pacing
I am running I know not where
But I know I can't stand still here Know I have to move

My words, they might not take you far, might not take you anywhere at all, but maybe that's exactly their purpose, to not make you move, but encourage you to.
Your words,
they might have already taken me miles away
might have been the spark that started the fire
maybe they are the final piece in the puzzle making e move encouraged by your words

Psycho

A friend called me this Saturday saying he was at the psychiatric ward tending to his manic-depressive behaviour.

He went there voluntarily and he isn't harmful, at least not to anyone but himself. or anything. But it still makes me wonder, makes one think. Think a lot. I actuallt saw him not too many days before this over a couple of beers and a good all-night-long talking of life and death - work and play.
He sure had had some tough months prior to this with lots to do so I knew he had a tough time.

Well no more analyze to be drawn from this, or well analyzes are always ongoing but none to be disclosed.
Get well friend!

Ding!

Well look at that - first level up since February after some 10 hours of gameplay in WotLK. How the expansion is? Well it is TBC-release all over, level up your proffessions and enter a new world, kill the same mobs with new clothes and get the same gear with new stats and repeat. Sad to say I find it quite enjoyable and relaxing. But more so - I love having a late Tuesday chat with my favourite Joe from Leicester for instance. And that very same social scene would actually be a major contribution to why I continue lurking around in Azeroth. Couldn't care less about the game itself but it do sport some interesting characters behind the cartoons.

Watch out Arthas, someone is coming for your ass - and I sure know it ain't me!

iLike It

Spent my first few weeks with the iTouch now.
And well ... I like it. I have installed some twenty applications, 3000 mp3's, a few episodes of Heroes and started a subscription to a few podcasts over at sr.se (Swedish Radio shows)

Sure - it's basically an mp3-player that can play videos. But all in all, it's great design - an easy interface and a fuck-yeah great touch screen.


That I also enjoy hours of gameplay of my new favourit brick-game Aurora Feint (download for free over at iTune Store). Sure it's a basic match-and-remove bricks game, but with a level systems, upgradable tools eand it also benefits the tilt-function in a genious way.

I haven't used it overly much connected to the net but I hear from a reliable source that it is great for that as well, it doesn't make me less impressed that it is also easily used as a remote control for the PC and whatnot.

Perhaps needless to say that the iPhone would make for a perfect phone to replace my current N82 given the opportunity.

Still no porn on it though and I still hate iTunes.

Monday Shopping

You know you like someone's company and especially a girl's when you spend some six hours shopping boots and clothes without trying to get her out of the same clothes.

I am so-so happy about being asked since I was the closest to a gay friend she had but then again I've been called worse on the basketball court as Obama would have said.
Asked again tomorrow I would have gone again :)
It was actually quite enjoyable - especially so when my advice was heard.


Over and out.

Professional

Getting up and around in the world I find out there are two professions that will have to be the ones seeing the worst in man.
First one would be doormen for bars. They have to deal with the drunk and the frustrated.

-How long do we have to stand in line
-Can I please get in, I got boobs
-Oh, I can't get in - now I have to kick your ass

Taxi-drivers. Hade the opportunity to get to ride with one in the morning rush a normal weekday in Oslo. And by lord, I'd be killing myself if I had to spend my days in traffic-stockings and exposed to less experienced driver's madness. And as if that wasn't enough, they have the infamous 4 o'lock drunken drives.


On the other hand I have been offered two jobs in the last 72 hours, none of them very formal and no guarantees given. But it is always fun to view and be shown options

First one is an old classic, met up with J. and he has gotten his PT-thing going quite good now and might be expanding towards northwest (i.e. Oslo) and would love some recruiting.
Second one is more of a wide shot. A. the Architect sent me a text saying I should gather some skills in strength calculations andc we could start up an Architect Office in Kga.

So to follow any of these two leads, education is the key. Either certify myself as a NPT and after that perhaps even as IPT (National/International Personal Trainer) at the moderate sum of 31 500 SEK for National or the bargain price 59 900 SEK for both.
OR I find a good book or ten on engineering and strength analysis for buildings and do my homework there.

OR I continue what I'am doing for another forty years and get crazy :P

Slightly more useful than usually

When I write these ramblings I wonder from time to time what interest these can be to anyone.
Today I'll chock and gather up some useful information I have gathered on my last week's Euro-trip that might come well in hand for random reasons.

1. If you intend to visit Luxembourg, first get there with Ryan Air (Frankfurt Hahn) and prebook your shuttle bus at libco.com to save some 5.00 €
2. If you are curious on what haggis taste like, it is not to bad. Quite well spiced and coarse sausage-ish feel. Basically a sheep's heart, liver and lungs boiled in its own stomach for a few hours
3. If you ever stumble upon french cheese with white mold upon it and a smell that is ... "rich" ... that is supposed to be a good thing. Confirmed by the son of a cheese-maker from Pontagne (spelling?)
4. Contrary to popular belier French Fries are Belgian and not French. They have at least proof that it go back to 1680. My personal proof is that both Hugo and Simon claimed it independent of each other and we saw a looooot of "Friterias" in Belgium.

Music Maestro

Olivier told me of this band he had been hearing a few songs from while in Wales. (The band is from Leeds). Downloaded their album this Monday and listened to it a few times before attending the concert yesterday.

And I was amazed to hear and recognize songs I've only listen to a time or two. To get the feel that this is a band I've been listening to for months or years and feel connected to them and aroused by the gig. This is why I love music, it keeps amazing me - keep opening new doors - showing me new worlds.


Thank you Olivier, thank you The Pigeon Detectives

Lousy picture, great band - John Dee Nov. 12th 2008

From me to me.

I am still an optimist and a firm believer that the Karma system is really working out. I have been saving up some points in one account now for a few months after my last withdrawal in July I think it was. Yes I remember the morning light on the Island. Now there was once more a withdrawal due. And to speak in even more riddlesome ways, this was this morning's facebook status to represent the happening:

There's really no use sleeping when no dream can beat being awake

Facebook status Tuesday morning

Well this post won't really say anything to anyone but me. But then again - who's blog is it? Huh? Huh?

2Bor_not2B

Is the choice even mine to make? Isn't it Hers? Isnt it Ours?

Anyways. Sitting each on the far end of the sofa I could sure have moved closer. I would have wanted it. Should I have wanted it?
Going home really hurt.

Fragments exposed, oceans remains unrevealed beneath. No use to say it all since I don't know it all at all.

That's All folks!

... still missing you.

1981.01.31-2007.10.27

It won't matter if I put 2028 as the year before today's date. It will still feel unfair that we all lost a dear friend this day a year ago. Parents lost their son, siblings their brother. Grandparents their grandchild.
I would exaggerate if I say I think about him daily and mourn. Ttruth told none of us would wan't that. I know for sure that I don't want constant grief and mourn the day I pass away and for years after.
But visiting Stockholm a few weeks ago of course I remember it and it still feels shit. And when Friday came this weekend, darkness was over me in more ways than the obvious one, I felt my heart weigh heavy thinking of last autumn.

Det har varit ett år av saknad
Vi kommer fortsätta sakna
Men det måste också vara minnen
Minnen av ditt skratt
Minnen av din värme
Tack Kompis
Tack Per

I long to long

I was asked yesterday what meaning I put into "longing". What that word meant to me. It is easy to say what it is NOT. To look forward to something is not to long. To long is too hurt. To be incomplete.
I don't long for money the days before the pay-check drops down on my desk. I don't long for the weekend on Mondays. But I sure look forward to it.
To long is to miss something really bad.
I long for arms to curl up in on a winter's day.
I long for light and summer when the nights turn dark.
I long for her

To love is in many ways to long
To long is in the same way to love

I do know I haven't longed in a long time and I sure long for it.

KK

Jag läser inte så många bloggar runtikring. Vännerlistans bloggar håller man sig ju såklart uppdaterad på (ni vet vilka ni är! :) ) är det nån annan blogg så är det oftast teknik- eller prylbloggar.
Men här kommer DN's nya "På stan" in i bilden och på sistone så har de skrivet mycket kul å smart. En del rent av spot on.
Som Hannas senaste:

Jag och Fredrik har så mysigt ihop. Vi känner varandra väl,..., Fredrik säger så roliga saker ibland och jag skrattar så roligt åt honom.
...
När pappa ringer på morgonen frågar han frankt om Fredrik har satt på mig under natten. Nej pappa, det har han inte. Och inte jag honom.
– Jamen vad fan gör han där då? undrar pappa.
...
Sen, när vi är i tunnelbanan på väg till dagens aktivitet, så ringer Linda och frågar sensationslystet om vi har… om vi har..?
...
Det finns en förväntan om att män och kvinnor förr eller senare måste ligga med varandra. Vi skjuter lite på den dagen, jag och Fredrik.

Vi skjuter lite på den dagen vi med.

Det är intressant att se hur umgänget man+kvinna-som-inte-ligger-med-varandra-men-ändå-umgås provocerar folk. Hur det att dricka te till halv två en tisdag natt och prata relationer, liv, mat, träning kan väcka frågor runtomkring. Men visst man kan ju vända på det, om man nu gillar att umgås med någon som inte ser så tokig ut, har samma värderingar o hobbies och rent av är skitrolig - varför ska man då inte göra slag i saken o gifta sig med henne eller honom. Den frågan får ni inget svar på.

Men det ligger lite på linje med hur det uppfattas som onormalt att vara singel, hur omgivningen strävar efter att man ska "träffa någon". Visst, biologiskt så strävar vi ju efter att föröka oss o sprida generna vidare, men är människan en biologisk driftstyrd varelse eller ett intellektuellt väsen med tanke bakom handlingarna. Fuck it - jag ska vara singel fem år till bara för att trotsa. Eller iaf tills jag blir sugen på att kramas, det bör väl bli fredag runt 21-tiden det.

Men tack för sist kompis, eller ska jag säga KK - KompisKompis

Keep it secret

I don't know if I am Hollywoodified or something, but sometimes I feel weird when I don't carry around any dark secrets or keep skeletons in my closet.
Sure I had a crush on that girl there, and sure I had some period where I had some fantasies and ideas that Mr Freud would find interesting. Truth is the only few times I tried doing things off the line - cheating on a test in 7th grade, nicking apples, stealing a few chewing gums - I usually end up being caught. But it's not like I've hit someone while driving and stashed away the body. Nor have I cheated on my tax return or on the few women I shared time with, out of the occassional side-step-drunken-kissing-I-still-regret. Heck I can even count the times I take the tram without ticket on one hand's fingers.
It's quite fun speculating over this when meeting random people on the bus - Girl 29, hmm wonder who she killed with cyanide. Man 63, how long has he been cheating on his wife with a younger man.

But what do I know, perhaps I should get my headphones on, listen to what Morrissey has to say and continue read my books while on the public transports.

---

On a completely different matter, but on the correct day of the week. Published a week after it was taken:

Tuesday it is

How wonderful life would be if Tisdagmys (Tuesday-cosing) was only a beer away. Sure it is great and fun and social and all ... but cosy?
... I need more to call it cosy.
I need warmth and intimacy and I need it NOW!

Career Opportunities

Spending way too much time not doing anything productive at all, I always come to think of other opportunities in life. Always curious on whether I could have been having lotsa more fun doing something compleeeetely different.



My career options I have been looking at would then be:

Training/coaching/mentoring
Teaching
Gardening
Photographing
Healthcare/volunteer

Training
This comes as a completely realistic one, I do enjoy pushing and motivating people. And truth is I have been spending time in gyms for some 10-12 years now and likes it a lot. Career opportunity - taking courses and certificates to work with Jonas in his company.

Teaching
Done it, liked it, hated it. It is in all ways a realistic option. I do love the feel to teach someone something. But I would then have to do it to older students and not the kids I have been teaching as of now. And if I am to do it in higher grads I will need some schooling. Not very likely.

Gardening
This is as much nostalgia as it is unrealistic. I sure would like to just run around, move lawns - cut hedges and spend my days outdoors. But seeing how seasonal it is I sure as h*ll wouldn't want to spend a rainy November collecting leaves.

Photographing
Have nowhere near the skills needed to make my living by it. But I sure have the lust and want to keep doing it - so I will. But it won't be a career option.

Healthcare/volunteer
This is more a spiritual option. I would love to nurse and to help. To see misery and disaster, plagues and pains. Just to get a little distance to my own whinings. Not realistic at all though, do you think I would want to stop my whining :)

But the thing still is, that life would be quite a lot different would I pursue another path in life. I might not do it today, tomorrow, not in one or eight years but I will do it someday.



... I am still doing my colouring and will continue with it to some extent. Is it readable as long as I steer clear of the most bright colours? Yellow and Pink sucks I suppose?

Summer's Lease

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest;

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Sonnet 18, published 1609 by Mr William Shakespeare

Summer's lease has indeed too short a date, and this summer is no exception as we drift in to darker times and the return of existential questions and wondrous discussions on this very same spot.
But if I am excused a shameful reuse and redirecting of this poem to a, to me, second receiver - I shall use this opportunity to eternify this summer's lease and great days we had and all the fun we had together Miss W. I'll let you grow in these eternal lines and let the world know I loved you. Rejected but not yet burnt on the flame I enter autumn as the leaves turns red and you turn your back on me.

What's Family?

She's got the whole world in her hands.

What is family? Is it only blood bonds? I dare say it isn't. I have spent the last twenty years in various family constellation where my father has been the more stable of the two parents.
Something that quickly doubled my nearest family. So when my step-sister now four years ago gave birth to a little niece I haven't ever considered that as anything else than family. And baby-sitting her this weekend I don't feel any less bond to her, quite the opposite of course. A jewel! That she also managed to give us all a little nephew this spring that I godfathered and will guide in to his Christian life is of course an honor in itself and an acceptance.

The Family is dead, long live family!

To be human

I do things wrong. But I do them to learn.
I do you wrong. But I do want to do it right.
I may be wrong. But you sure feel right

Dreams

Sex and drugs, pregnancy and madness

-stuff that dreams are made of

I have for a long time slept many a dreamless night, I won't dwell in the reasons to why that has been the case. But I guess blaming too little sleep and to much electromagnetics beaming the brains is a start.
This new dreaming times surprise me in ways and come quite naturally in other ways. Of course, if I've spent the whole day wondering whether or not to send a mail to Miss A ... I will of course spend that night's dream in horizontal position with Miss B.
If I have heard that a person from my past has been pregnant, then of course the natural thing to dream of would of course be to find myself in a troublesome labour having to give birth through Caeserean section.

Congratulations ...

... and I mean it. I really do. Congratulations to you both, all three.
The woman I've spent some seven years with is having a baby.
And it really feels ok, more ok than I thought.
And you could see it coming as well, in fact they even bought a puppy this summer.

But what it does do is add up to this being a very turbulent weekend with way too much impressions and feelings. So will you please now please reply to my sms girl #2 and shed some light on where to take nothing to something or whether to drop it all.

In Sweden we call it the "Ketchup-effekt" ... first nothing at all, then nothing, then everything - boom.
Looking forward to work and some normal routine tomorrow. Or well, forget that - tomorrow is full of news before it even started - in Växjö with Knoxville guests coming in and workshops taking place.

And to whomever might read through this pieces and fragments of what's going on. Well this is just me, snapshotting my mind at this stage and this phase. Call me tomorrow and I might give you a writeup on Coupland's Girlfriend in a Coma in all its awesomeness instead.


/Peace

[Oh, and Fredrik - I hope you appreciate the less colorized style! :-) ]

Alone with you

Waking up by your side.
Such a privilege
Such a punishment
To be so near, yet so far away

Tack för den
Fy fan för den

Dam, jag förstår dig inte.
Värld, jag förstår dig överhuvudtaget inte!

Random Ramblings

broken boy bears burdens
burdened by broken beliefs
biggest burden be brutal boredom

-bring back beauty!
-brothers build bridges!
-burdens, bye bye.

Just B

Se mig när jag är där
sakna mig när jag inte är
Håll om mig när jag är här
håll av mig när jag inte är

Ägna mig en tanke
Tänk vad jag är ämnad för

Jag är ägnad för dig

.....om du bara låter mig

Titta då!

Friend of mine - together we're fine
But when apart - I am missing some part
You're the missing piece in my puzzle,
the strength in my muscle
Come here - come near
Cause when you're around,
there's not a grain of fear to be found

Puzzled

I am ready

Been having the best week in a long time, or well best one ever? Met up with most of the people I love and done what I love to do and seen the music I love to hear. Seen Bruce, seen Kent. But all I can think of is, to express it in India Airie's words

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Jag är ruggigt jävla klar!

A day passes ...

Summer is the reading season.
Last two ones have been Erland Loe's "Naiv.Super." and Jonas Gardell's "Så går en dag ifrån vårt liv och kommer aldrig åter".

Loe's book is a quite easily reviewed one. Our protagonist is a slightly simple minded and straightforward young man. He solves problems by beating sticks through his Brio Bolt Board and writes lists. But he is put to some scary changes when his brother invites him to New York.
All in all a warm tale and an inspiring one for anyone who wants to take that step and do something new. Thanks Em.


Gardell's book is a Swedish one, and a review without the words "radhusångest" and the fall of "folkhemmet" wouldn't make it complete. It is black and spot on but with a warmth and a clear sight on what makes us Swedes, for good and bad. It kicks you in the groin on several spots. And I just want to stand up and scream at some points. All in all it leaves me with the same will to do things differently that I got from Doctor Glas. That this man, paired with his Mark are voted to be the most desired neighbours scares me.

Moments like these ...

... calls for an exception in the blogg-break I initiated mid-May. Today's xkcd comic is the reason today.

They've made it up to 439 strips there now

It's good to know I am not the only one who has the divorce visioned before the first date is through.

Full Circle

So I place a lilac on my pillow

20070520

Today you turn 1 Year, dear Blogg. The lilacs are once more in bloom and summer and life is indeed here to stay for a short few lovely warm wonderful summer months! It has been a great year. I have gotten to see Asia, Africa and North America. I have met far more people than I have parted with - but I am yet to meet You. But I am optimistic.

And with this I leave you for a while dear Blogg.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Stairway, night to Sunday

Fader, förlåt dem; ty de veta icke vad de göra. (Lukas 23:34)
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. (Luke 23:34)

The good old Mr J while Crucified

I have not resorted to Christianity, but since it still is the cultural framework my society and surrounding is built upon I will re-use their sayings. Went out to for a bite and a beer both Friday and Saturday in good company, Friday with M. after some 2h of Muay Thai. Had a great time and talk. Manage to go through world economy, the Chinese success and the New Russia, as well as a note on his coming marriage! (Note to self: 25th of October)
Saturday we celebrated the success in the Holmenkollen relay run my co-workers and I. Our team ended up 307th out of 478 starting in that class. "Mixed, Firms" - thanks to H.

Well were was this aimed then ... well in no direction at all. Just strengthened in my belief that I am better off sober and slightly less partying than with. Coming home to a staircase where someone has puked and a trail of blood leads out of the elevator just leaves me assured I am on the right path.

Hjalmar Söderberg - Doctor Glas (1905)

I have finally read through Hjalmar Söderberg's Doctor Glas, a novel first published in Sweden 1905 and not translated into English until 1963. A book considered as quite provocating once it hit the bookshelves in the early 20th century. A book with very clear thought and in no way provocing today, or at least not to me. It deals with the matters of life & death - love & lust. And the moral questions that goes through the whole novel is the one of whether or not you can kill a man for another to live. Or more specifically in the novel. Could it be acceptable to end the life of Reverend Gregorius to let his young wife, Helga, lead her life the way she wants. Something she is not allowed to now, trapped in a loveless marriage where her husband forces himself upon her.

The book is written in the form of the Physician Dr. Glas' diary and the dilemma he is presented to by the young Helga. The language has got nearly a hundred years on its back now but it is in no way a burden to read. though the passing of time shows some signs of course.

It is long since I have folded this many edges of the sides, long ago since I have underlined this much passages and felt that I could identify with the young Doctor's dilemmas. Far too many to write them all down here. But some should of course be posted as a reference to what I mean.

Så gick det år efter år, och livet drog mig förbi. Jag såg många kvinnor som tände min längtan på nytt men just de kvinnorna märkte aldrig mig, det var som om jag inte fanns till för dem. Hur kom det sig? Jag tror att jag förstår det nu. En kvinna, som älskar, har just den förtrollning över sin gång och hy och över hela sitt väsen som tände mitt begär. Men eftersom de redan älskade andra män, kunde de ju icke se mig. Andra såg istället på mig ... Men det var nu alltid spilld möda.
Years went, and life passed me by. I saw many women that lit my flame but those women never noticed me, it was as if I didn't exist. How come? I think I understand it now. A woman, in love, has that spell over her walk and skin over all her presence that lits my flame. But since they already loved other men, they couldn't see me. Others saw me ... But that was always in vain.

There is another passage quite early that I find quite illustrating for this very blogg as well:

Det som jag skriver ned på dessa blad är icke någon bikt; för vem skulle jag bikta mig? Jag berättar icke allt om mig själv. Jag berättar blott det som behagar mig att berätta; men jag säger ingenting som icke är sant. Jag kan dock icke ljuga bort min själs eländighet, om den är eländig.
What I write down here is no confession; for whom would I confess? I do not tell you everything about myself. I just tell what I like to tell; but I will not be untrue. I can't lie away my soul's wretchedness, should it be wretched.

Other themes are abortion, suicide and euthanasia - to help another man end his life. Glas rejects it on his sworn doctor's oath but find himself from time to time disagree on the thesis to try to preserve life at all costs, to all ends and in all situation. He finds a son born an abomination by a mum he some years earlier rejected to help to an abortion.

-Ja, självmord är fult. Men det kan vara ännu fulare att leva.
-Yes suicide is ugly. But it can be far more ugly to live.

Glas on suicide

Liv, jag förstår dig inte.
Life, I don't understand you.

It is by a wonderful twist of fate a book I finished reading while rocking my two-month-old godson to sleep in his pram. Resting with a peaceful expression, a life not yet tainted by the world around us. A calm and peace unseen anywhere else. There's still hope! :)

A Day off Work, a Day on Life

Snarøya, Oslo

Took a well deserved day off to catch up for some of the lost Oslo-time after my Växjö-month.
Can't think of a better way to spend it than to get off to the coast and my sister's place and sunbathe while catching up with my godsent godson.

Mind cleared, skin tanned and well fed I am off to bed.

On a sidenote I gotta admit that I have missed my Olympus quite alot as well, I have during these two days shot some 400+ pictures with it. Two of the more interesting ones:

Slow flash to get the blurry effect

A rose is a rose is a tulip

Donnie Darko (2001)

28 days 6 hours 12 minutes and 42 seconds from now the world will end

To me it's brilliant. To me it's beautiful. To me ... it could be me. But it's not for everyone.

The story isn't really like anything you've seen but then again not *that* revolutionary. Young distressed man starts seeing an imaginary 6 feet bunny - Frank. When starting to take instructions from said rabbit he does some violent acts and it all gets a bit twisted as the mentioned time of the world's end draws near.

The black humour of it is wonderfully brilliant. Sharp and crisp and interesting dialogue.

My step dad has emotional problems (Gretchen)
Oh - so do I, what kind of problems does he have (Donnie)
He stabbed my mum four times in the chest (G.)

Another passage on the history of Smurfette is interesting as well

First of all Papa Smurf didn't create her, Gargamel did
She was sent in to the village as Gargemels evil spy
But the overwelming goodness of the smurf way transformed her

Unless I am overinterpreting it has a slight twist of existentialism in it too.

Every living creature dies alone

And if we die alone can there be a God?

It also touches themes like - "If you know this was your last day, what would you do differently". And of course the normality - abnormality dualism
Donnie to Frank - in his giant bunny suit:

Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit? (D.D)
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit? (Frank)

There's also a tour into the themes of education - about the liberal English teacher teaching the student's about Graham Greene and his "The Destructors". This is all in contrast to the gym teacher and her traditional schooling / creation of model citizens with the help of Patrick Swayze's pedophilic life style coach.


Grading it - as a theatrical experience and a movie experience it can't be more than a 6. Nothing breaks new ground, but the theme and story appeals me so I'll give it an 8.

You're weird (G)
Sorry (D.D)
That was a compliment (G)

Cormac McCarthy - The Road (2006)

The theme and story is very easily compressed in to two words post-apocalyptic and survival. The world we meet is covered by an ever grey sky with an acidic atmosphere, a result of an untold disaster, one that left very little life left on our beloved planet. Cannibalic tribes roam the world and our narrator and his son sets off to seek the warmth of the southern coast of what once was America. escaping the coming winter.

The language is written in a very straightforward way. The book isn't divided in tochapters and the story is told in dialogue and describing texts. However simple it may seem the story is a gripping and moving one. The son on one side is not aware of the world before the catastrophe and only knows of that world from his fathers stories about those days. He doubts many of the things his father says. The narrator/father on the other hand is focused on one thing and one thing alone - to get to the Sea by all means necessary and to all ends.

The unconditional love between the father and son is a central theme, as is the ever present question wether life is worth living and how much of a life they live. With the constant hunt for food and the need to feed we are of course made aware of our fragile lifestyle. Where we as humans have domesticised ourselves and removed what was once instinct in us - to find food and survive. Something the inhabitants in this place has gone back to. Set as another theme is the doubt in God and the disbelief in prophets. More symbolically I'd say personally that his disbelief is aimed at the religious system and that faith itself should be brought back on the agenda instead of customs and traditions

Det finns ingen Gud och vi är hans profeter.
There is no God, and we are his prophets

And of course some existentialism to fuel the fire

Varje dag är en lögn, sa han.
Men du är på väg att dö. Det är ingen lögn
Every day is a lie, he said. But you are dying / about to die That's no lie

To sum the book up I can say that it is a book that will stay on mine and in your mind for a time. A book that might get you thinking and not taking things for granted and with a little luck it might even get you to appreciate day-to-day marvels and luxuries that you have been taking for granted. If not for anything else - take this as a week's resort in to a Pulitzer Prize awarded work. Escape in to a world with such rich language that it sometimes stuns me with in it's descriptions

Världen skulle snart befolkas av människor som åt barn inför ögonen på deras föräldrar och städerna behärskas av ligor av svärtade plundrare som plöjde genom ruinerna och krälade fram ur spillrorna med vitlysande tänder och ögon, bärande på brända och anonyma konservburkar i nätkassar som shoppare i helvetets lagerhus.
Det mjuka svarta pudret blåste fram över gatorna likt bläckfiskbläck som ringlade ut sig över en havsbotten och kölden smög sig ner och mörkret föll tiidigt och roffarna som drog fram genom de branta skrevornamed sina facklor trampade silkeslena hål i drivorna av aska som slöt sig bakom dem tyst som ögon.
(A translation of my own back in to the original language wouldn't make it justice. And I find it quite a shame that I didn't read it in English right from the start.)

---

First things ... last.
The reason I got in to reading McCarthy at all was because of the splendid filmatization of his work No Country for Old Men which was rewarded rightfully with four Academy Award wins. The same destiny is apparantly set for this book and it's a work in progress. interestingly indeed, Viggo Mortensen Is the narrator from what I can read. Screen date is set as late November this year.


And if I were to rate it on the standardized 1-10 scale. It's a 9. The times I have resorted to tears are, unfortunately, easily counted on one hand's fingers. But if I would, I would have shed one after parting with these two characters that kept me company for the time our journey together lasted. But that's ok. Or as the narrator says in his own created creed that he repeats to his son.

We're going to be okay, arent we Papa? (son)
Yes. We are.
And nothing bad is going to happen to us. (son)
That's right.
Because we're carrying the fire. (son)
Yes. Because we're carrying the fire.

Opposition

I'm on a train .. a train of thoughts

Opposite me on the same table sits a girl
Almondy eyes framed with rich eyebrows
She's giving me a shy glance over her laptop,
I return the favour from my side

The sweet scent of spring in the air, or is it perfume?

In a perfect world in a perfect time I act
In that world I converse or introduce

But in this world, looks and glance is all
But all I need for now, I smile she smiles
She leaves, I stay

And all is as it was ... but then again it isn't

But for what it's worth - here's a tip for a great new catch from the mp3-river that flows all over and about the net. Dashboard Confessionals. Quite the emo little rock-crew.

If it is born in flames then we should let it burn
Burn as brightly as we can
And if it's gotta end then let it end in flames
Let it burn all the way down

Dashboard Confessional - Currents

Camus is my Homeboy

(This post is an unintended but logical continuation of Thrown into existance.
And all appearances of cigarettes in my mouth is purely put there for artistic purposes to pose as a tough guy to the camera... I might have failed )

Me and my homie havin' a smoke, doin' some talkin, chillin' u know

Finished reading Camus' Myth of Sisyphus and it is an inspiring work indeed. Vital to life on this planet I'd say. A must read for the nihil seekers as well as the pessimists without goals. And a good torch to light the way for a wanderer like myself.

Camus starts it all up with the statement:

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. Deciding whether or not life is worth living is to answer the fundamental question in philosophy. All other questions follow from that.

Or in other words:

Does the realization of the meaninglessness and absurdity of life require suicide?

With this Camus sets off to discuss the topic in a couple of essays, debating on the absurd, freedom, the arts and of course Sisyphus. The man who defied the (Greek) Gods by choosing life over death. By doingso he was sentenced to do an endless, useless, seemingly meaningless task - but in finding meaning in the task he continues to defy the gods and the weight of the punishment fails to stop him. He knows his cliff is his and he controls his destiny. He is his own master. One could saySisyphus was happy.

Franz Stuck's depiction of Sisyphus

Camus goes on to reject religion and their promises of happiness later - life is now. He is no fan of totalitairianisms like Communism either, something Sartre was a fan of and the other extremes on the right. Systems which put the success of the politics ahead of the individual can never be accepted. (This is also where Camus and Sartre part their ways)

Camus don’t reject the torments and hurts of life, on the contrary you need salt to feel the sweet - there’s no black without white. Life shouldn't be reduced and simplified, one shouldn't rely on hope but instead face the present.

Camus abruptly cuts off all the exits of hope. Man, each one of us, dies. Unlike all else in creation, we know we die. We do not live forever. We must therefore live and live fully the life that we have.

He sums up the characteristics in a man that has understood his share in life. He knows he is in a prison and accepts the limits. Camus calls him l’ homme absurde. Living without nostalgia and death as his only enemy. His hope is for life, not for the future or for the past. Life is full of possibilities. These he accepts. These form his joy.

---

Just a brief general write-up on existentialism and the existentialist. The “school” is not a typical philosophical one since it doesn’t set up a full set of rules covering all aspects of life. But more a general train of thoughts with some basic ideas.

Six basic themes of Existentialism:

1. Man is conscious subject rather than a thing to be predicted or manipulated.

2. Anxiety -- a generalized uneasiness. The dread of the nothingness of human existence. This dark picture of human life leads existentialists to reject ideas such as happiness and a sense of well being.

3. Absurdity -- Each of us is simply here, having been thrown into this time and place, but why now?

4. Nothingness -- "I am my own existence, but my existence is nothingness."

5. Death -- The only certainty of life which hangs over existentialist head at each moment of life.

6. Alienation -- apart from the existentialists own conscious being, everything else is "otherness", from which he or she estranged.

And among the persons associated with existentialism, most of them has under some part of their life denied beeing a part of the movement. Camus, Sartre and Heidegger all did it. And two other central personas - Kierkegaard and Nietzsche - were too early to be grouped among the other existentialists. Corbett suggests reading the works of the thinkers associated with existentialism is the best way to define their way rather than setting up a frame or some rules.

One always dies too soon - or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are - your life, and nothing else.”

We are alone, with no excuses. That is the idea I shall try to convey when I say that man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself, yet, in other respects is free; because, once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.

Jean-Paul Sartre

I know of only one duty, and that is to love

Albert again

All is Good

Dostoevsky

Ich bin ein Skandinavier.

Vad bjuder oss uppriktigt Afrika?
Vad visa kan Amerika?
Vad Asien? Vad allt Europa?
Jag trotsar öppet alltihopa.
Men Skandinavien - det är alladar!
Blott Sverige svenska krusbär har.

Carl Jonas Love Almqvist - Om svenska rim (1838)

He might twist it slightly more patriotic than I should. But yet, how wonderful it is to be a Scandinavian. How much you appreciate light after darkness. How much the suns warms your skin after being clad in furs for six months. How soft the soil is under you bare feet after a winter in boots. How life seems to jumpstart from our hibernated winter mode.

I have had the first taste of summer -08. Rosy cheeks and smiling faces wherever you go. And if you by chance decided to go to the Swedish West Coast this weekend, and if you by chance would happen to know a friendly hospitable family there then I guess you are doubly blessed.
Spent a fantastic weekend, hmmm overdoing the superlatives slightly, in Gothenburg and Utby.
The weekend couldn't have started in a worse way - spent Friday night in the office until 2 AM and got back to the hotel to grab some four hours of sleep before I dragged my zombie body in a comatose matter to the awaiting Gothenburg train Saturday morning. Where I had some good three hours of drewling on the seat. But fear not reader it is all uphill from here.
Met up with my old live-in to join him in a quest for a spring jacket. A jacket he decided to buy in the Boomerang store, the same store I have come to despite after seeing the print on the plastic bag he got:


Nevertheless, a simple insult to my lifestyle like that didn't bring me down and instead I placed myself on the bus north. Headed for Uddevalla, Torp and an awaiting committee of the aforementioned family and son-in-law ready prepared with a full plate of barbeque served warm and to be eaten on the go (and in respect to my grey year a non-alcoholic Carlsberg). We set off for Orust and Ellös for a trip in the "archipelago" (some would just say "coast") and a fantastic evening by boat around the sites and sights out there with a short stop on Käringön (made "famous" in SMHI's Sjörapporter for the measuring station "Måseskär")

Bohuslandic idyll

A picnic, a car ride, a good talk on entrepreneurship in the manly trio and Saturday was all.
Sunday came off, if possible, even better with sea-kayaking, this years first swim, watching sea birds mate and date at open sea, a great dine and once more I found myself back in Gothenburg 24h later. Met up with my partner in crime CJ for a fruitful walk-and-talk in Slottsskogen and got to see both his apartment and live-in for the first time unfortunately not I didn't get to see the penguines as promised. To round it off the train ride back home held a good few hours of talk on sewing and knitting, eating and drinking with miss Värnamo.

All along the watchtower ... The Observatory, Slottsskogen

Well ... S U M M E R is here indeed dear friends.
Less talk wore walk, get up get out get on with it!

While there's still time.

We are facing global warming - people rush up to the top of Kilimanjaro while the snow still shines white from the summit of it. Different theories exist to what the name means but some says it is Swahili for White Hill or Shining Hill and well if the current path is continued they will have to come up with a different name for Africa's highest point.

Satellite photos from 1993 and 2000 shows alarming signs of what is going on.

Some scientists believe the snow cap of Mount Kilimanjaro will be gone in two decades. Researchers say the ice fields on Africa’s highest mountain shrank by 80 percent in the past century. (A snow cap formed some 11,000 years ago)

Same source as images

---

But this is nothing compared to what global morale is doing with Amsterdam. The City is buying the windows that used to hold the (in-)famous Red Light booths and are instead replacing them by fashion stores and boutiques. By this, destroying (or cleaning up) a 400-year-old tradition. All subventioned by the City, the tenants will only have to pay for electricity and water and the City covers up the rent.

Red light district, A'dam

"Luckily" we got to see that one in time. Let's hope we'll make it in time to climb Kilimanjaro as well. A task not as easily undertaken but far from impossible.

Infernal Sunshine on a Spotted Mind

*spoilers ahead*

If you haven't seen the movie your perception of the movie might get seriously distorted by reading this post.

Yesterday I had the privilege to take part of Mr Kaufman's movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Featuring Mr Carrey and Miss Winslet. A movie I had long looked forward to see and hence read up a good bit on in preparation to this. And this is where it gets bad. But first:

The story - if not known - is based on a romance between said two actors. And a clinic that can erase memories of a person. Something first Winslet decides to do and after that Carrey. But to their surprise they end up meeting each other again (... or do they re-remember meeting?) and fight to erase the memories. I figure it takes the loss of someone to know what they really meant.

The preparations - as I said, I had read up a great deal about this movie in a few reviews and on imdb. This is all in all bad especially on a movie like this. And the fact that I cheated and saw it semi-asleep on my little 2.4" screen might have help blurring my experience of it.

The thing is, I would very much want to erase all my memories of the movie and see it all over on a fresh start. I will keep a note of that for the day when these clinics arise. And when I do I will find that the cheerful romance between the introvert Carrey and the extrovert Winslet is a wonderful one and one that would ache and soothe my heart at the same time.

This comes to my attention when the credits come rolling to the voice of Beck and the wonderful tune Everybody's gotta learn sometimes (originally by The Korgis) Instead I find myself listening and watching the clip over and over trying to rebuild the feel I was thinking I was about to get.

The "review" wouldn't be complete without the random quotes now, would it?

Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

Carrey

I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind

Winslet

I could die right now. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before.
I'm just exactly where I want to be

Carrey

I guess everybody's gotta learn sometimes
everybody's gotta learn sometimes
everybody's gotta learn sometimes

Alternation of Generations

2004.xx.yy-2008.04.15

Thanks Partner. We had our share of good times and bad times. We saw some ups and a few downs. But age got to you too. Last few days you didn't even have the strenght to gather the signals from the net. And I saw this as the only way out.


I just want to keep this sms as a "best of" or what you might call it:

It means a lot to hear that from you. You see right through me, I don't need to keep a mask in front of you. I know I don't make it easy on myself. I know where you are and I appreciate you beeing there. I wont't forget that.

The "worst of"-s can luckily not be seen since it had the wonderful function not to store outgoing sms'es.

Well now it is time to move on and in to Finnish territory in the arms of Nokia. My current staff of cellular helpers consists of these three musketeers:

In order of appearance: 6111 1650 3110

...with all their faults and flaws. The oldest one, the 6111 - well it has a habit of dying on me if treated with anything but silk gloves.
The 1-month-old 1650 had the major flaw of not even getting powered on after a week of use so that one is off to service and might come back one day. And newest one in the clan is today's catch 3110. Hopefully a more solid product from the line. Speaking to its advantage is a good decent large enough keypad and a speedy internet access.

From now on I'll just refer to them as my Nokia 10 871 ...

Coverboy

Cover of the first Life magazine back in 1936

Oh how wonderful the life is in a glossy magazine. And how I love to be told what to buy, what to do, what to see, which band to listen to, what trends I should enslave myself to and of course what I should think.

I gladly spend the 59:- to get in to the world of the Swedish male lifestyle mags Café or King. Skip through the tens of pages with ads until I get to a 8-page-interview with Jackie Arklöv or a single page on Dave Gahan. Persons in whom's fates I am interested for complely different reasons. I love one, hate one. Draw your own conclusion's who's who.

I don't have a problem at all to get in to the world of digital photography in Digital Camera at a cheap price of 89:- and most importantly getting a CD with Photoshop techniques on the side, not that I ever go through that one. But I am taught how to best photograph passing cars on a Formula 1 court if I ever get to one.

Today's catch in the pond over at Pressbyrån is Världens Historia with a large one on Mao and his massacres along with Inked - yepp that back of mine is gone gett inked up fast enough. Getting that mag really shows how dedicated I am! And of course I bump in to my friend Rocky (the Comic not the Boxer) on my way out. That one is though worthy of his own review. That's just a straight on masterpiece. But on a sidenote, yes Rocky is a comic but it makes a magazine since it sports some articles and reviews.


What's the great thing about them then? Well accessibility slips off the tongue. It is a very inviting way to present facts and news. Of course the facts are limited and the objectivity ain't really there like in journalistic media - but I want the subjectivity. I am presented to an idea. If Café says beige khakis are the shit 2037 I can choose whether to wear them or not 2037 but I know that if I w o u l d I would be slightly more modern.
And I do know how inconsistant this is with my love for Fight Club and the reference to Khaki is intended

You're not the car you drive
You're not the contents of your wallet.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING KHAKIS

Tyler Durden

But please: reread the adress you typed in to get there ... contra-dikt-ory. Yeppp. That's me!


I can from time to time indulge myself in mags on topics I have no relation to whatsoever. I gladly spend a good 30 minutes skipping through my mum's Ellé magazines. Not really sure what to do with the information and if I just wanted to watch beautiful seminaked girls I'd go for Playboy or porn instead. But it is something more to it. You get a glimpse of a culture and lifestyles. I can see people wanting something to define them. I can see 57 year-old-men wanting to let the world know how they take a big interest in cigars or the huntsmen showing off with the new number of Guns&Ammo (Nilecity and the "Tidsstudiemannen" reference intended)


I was gonna host a top-ten-at-the-moment-list of great mags but I have name-dropped most of them I read. To add to that list is of course Fighter Magazine and the old favourite Illustrerad Vetenskap to which my brother still subscribes.


And oh ... if you read this far you might want to know what sparked this all. To no one's surprise it is once more DN and their article "Magasin med makt" of today's paper about this evenings episode of "Bildmagasinens historia, Kunskapskanalen 22.00"

Grundtemat i de flesta går att koka ner till:
"Så här bör du leva",
underförstått med tillägget:
"för att bli en lycklig människa".

And well ... I guess am happy then!

Hypnosis

Stare in to the picture
Relax yourself
You are feeling sleepy
Your body is heavy
Your eyelids can hardly stay up
Your arms hang lose on your side
You will soon fall asleep
You are now in my complete control
But when I snap my fingers you wake up

You will now start by ending world poverty.

You will on a trip to Africa sort out the situation in Darfur

You shall help Dalai Lama reclaim his position in Tibet

You shall stop global warming

Love More - Love All - Love Life!

*snap*

There you are, welcome to a new world:
Your World - My World - Our World!

(Sorry Johan about the color-coding,
but it really adds hippieness to a post like this ;) )

A Blast from the Past

Strömstad 2003.05.03

The picture as a motif isn't very fancy. But as a timestamp, a flashback it is quite interesting. As the caption says it is close to five years old. In fact the oldest digital image I have from my own cameras*
An analyze of it is quite interesting:

i: Aftonbladet is something I haven't read since four years.
ii: I still drank beer enough to cause holes like that on the jeans
iii: the cell phones were slightly uglier and bigger
iv: not easy to tell just from the image, it requires some Adamology, but the family owning the cabin ain't my family anymore.
v: the wallpapers - you can really tell the image is old :)

So 2003. How far ago is that in other terms then.

March 20 - Land troops from US, UK, Australia and Poland invade Iraq

September 12 - Johnny Cash dies of a neuro-disease

September 14 - Sweden rejects adopting the Euro in a referendum

Wiki, 2003 writeup

But I was luckily unaware of the fact that Per Gessle and his "Här kommer känslorna på eeeeen och samma gång" were going to bother us for the whole summer, and that Miio's remake of "När vi två blir en" was released.



*Oldest image from any digital camera would be this one:

Falkenberg, Gone fishing 2002.07.16 (sepia tone added)

My oldest picture from any camera is this one.
Scanned image from an analogue camera:

Hultsfred 2001.06.14 (sepia tone added)

A festival where we got to see the acts below, with Fireside, Kent, Looptroop & Weezer as favourite experiences of these:

Hawaii
LIMP BIZKIT [US],
MANIC STREET PREACHERS [UK],
WEEZER [US]
KENT
HÅKAN HELLSTRÖM
SAHARA HOTNIGHTS

Pampas
SOULFLY [BRA/US]
ASH [UK]
THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES,
LOOPTROOP
TIMBUKTU

Teaterladan
FIRESIDE,
LISA MISKOVSKY,
RANDY
ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT [US]

The bands we skipped, missed, or hadn't learned to love yet would be:

Hawaii
IGGY POP [US]
BACKYARD BABIES
ULF LUNDELL
THE HELLACOPTERS
BRODER DANIEL,

Pampas
QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE [US]
FAITHLESS [UK]
DROPKICK MURPHYS [US]
THE HIVES

Stora Dansbanan
ED HARCOURT [UK]
DANKO JONES [CAN]
THE SHINS [US]
DAVID & THE CITIZENS

---

That's it for todays class in Adamology.
Hope you enjoyed at least some of it ;)
Tests will be handed out the 17th of May 12:00 PM. Welcome!

/Peace

True Romance

And I can't wait to get on the road again.
Goin' places that I've never been.
Seein' things that I may never see again

Once again Willie Nelson fronts the post. And this time the third line holds more true than ever. No offence Bruno and Värnamo

The Wanderer

Hard evidence for those doubting the autheticity

Who names their sons Bruno anyways ... no offence

And who the f* is Bruno ... well, as the sign says translated:

The Värnamo son who became
one of the world's most famous furniture designers

Sun sets over the Designhotellet

The Designhotellet that holds a lot of the furniture's made by Bruno. And the very same hotel that by a random German tourist guide was listed as one of Sweden's most seeable hotels.

Värnamo city. It feels like a time travel to the 70's, in color shape and design. With stores like "Inges El" and seen here "Café 18". But it do make Karlskoga's city center feel like a fresh breeze of modernity and hope. Gotta say that the Latte served at Stig's Café was great though and the sun shone ever so bright over the heart of the Gnosjö-region.

I met an angel

I've actually met two of them, my wonderful hostess as well. Thanks for the housing and tour.

Well ... it's colorfull

This image is just random. Taken from some sort of model at the Textilakademien where the hostess spends her days sewing, weaving and knitting.

Where to from here?

What I really love about a day trip like this is the snapshot it brings me. A day spent in a new town with someone who knows it makes me get to know it much faster. Had the same experience on my one day trip over to Helsingborg to meet Karl. I wouldn't have gotten that close to any of those places if I hadn't had some first hand information and guidance.

And yeah ... about the Romance, the True one , great film, not completely water proof story but it is 1993 and it is Quentin Tarantino, what's there not to love about it.

---

And speaking about snapshots. Couldn't help sharing this one taken from Växjö though

Take a seat!