Keep it secret

I don't know if I am Hollywoodified or something, but sometimes I feel weird when I don't carry around any dark secrets or keep skeletons in my closet.
Sure I had a crush on that girl there, and sure I had some period where I had some fantasies and ideas that Mr Freud would find interesting. Truth is the only few times I tried doing things off the line - cheating on a test in 7th grade, nicking apples, stealing a few chewing gums - I usually end up being caught. But it's not like I've hit someone while driving and stashed away the body. Nor have I cheated on my tax return or on the few women I shared time with, out of the occassional side-step-drunken-kissing-I-still-regret. Heck I can even count the times I take the tram without ticket on one hand's fingers.
It's quite fun speculating over this when meeting random people on the bus - Girl 29, hmm wonder who she killed with cyanide. Man 63, how long has he been cheating on his wife with a younger man.

But what do I know, perhaps I should get my headphones on, listen to what Morrissey has to say and continue read my books while on the public transports.

---

On a completely different matter, but on the correct day of the week. Published a week after it was taken:

Tuesday it is

How wonderful life would be if Tisdagmys (Tuesday-cosing) was only a beer away. Sure it is great and fun and social and all ... but cosy?
... I need more to call it cosy.
I need warmth and intimacy and I need it NOW!

Career Opportunities

Spending way too much time not doing anything productive at all, I always come to think of other opportunities in life. Always curious on whether I could have been having lotsa more fun doing something compleeeetely different.



My career options I have been looking at would then be:

Training/coaching/mentoring
Teaching
Gardening
Photographing
Healthcare/volunteer

Training
This comes as a completely realistic one, I do enjoy pushing and motivating people. And truth is I have been spending time in gyms for some 10-12 years now and likes it a lot. Career opportunity - taking courses and certificates to work with Jonas in his company.

Teaching
Done it, liked it, hated it. It is in all ways a realistic option. I do love the feel to teach someone something. But I would then have to do it to older students and not the kids I have been teaching as of now. And if I am to do it in higher grads I will need some schooling. Not very likely.

Gardening
This is as much nostalgia as it is unrealistic. I sure would like to just run around, move lawns - cut hedges and spend my days outdoors. But seeing how seasonal it is I sure as h*ll wouldn't want to spend a rainy November collecting leaves.

Photographing
Have nowhere near the skills needed to make my living by it. But I sure have the lust and want to keep doing it - so I will. But it won't be a career option.

Healthcare/volunteer
This is more a spiritual option. I would love to nurse and to help. To see misery and disaster, plagues and pains. Just to get a little distance to my own whinings. Not realistic at all though, do you think I would want to stop my whining :)

But the thing still is, that life would be quite a lot different would I pursue another path in life. I might not do it today, tomorrow, not in one or eight years but I will do it someday.



... I am still doing my colouring and will continue with it to some extent. Is it readable as long as I steer clear of the most bright colours? Yellow and Pink sucks I suppose?

Summer's Lease

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest;

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Sonnet 18, published 1609 by Mr William Shakespeare

Summer's lease has indeed too short a date, and this summer is no exception as we drift in to darker times and the return of existential questions and wondrous discussions on this very same spot.
But if I am excused a shameful reuse and redirecting of this poem to a, to me, second receiver - I shall use this opportunity to eternify this summer's lease and great days we had and all the fun we had together Miss W. I'll let you grow in these eternal lines and let the world know I loved you. Rejected but not yet burnt on the flame I enter autumn as the leaves turns red and you turn your back on me.